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Should we have kissed Monday night?
I don’t know either.
There was a moment, wasn’t there? But then you did and I didn’t and I got in my car and you in your house and silence.

I kissed a guy last year. Well, he kissed me.
I’d been saying how I never knew if people were flirting with me and he said “just to make it clear” and then he pressed his mouth to mine.
Which was nice.
But it was as if that intimacy ripped the top off a shaken coke bottle. His wounds were mine for one hour. In between kisses he told me all the reasons it could go no further than this; last no longer than the sixty minutes before the last bus: bad break ups, sick parents, neuroses. It was raining and we sat under an umbrella and I patted his knee a lot. I told him he was doing fine and that being an adult was hard.
I meant it.

We agreed that, had we met five years earlier, we probably could have fucked without a care. But instead here we were: two adults whose adult lives had swamped us; terrified us back to childish make-out sessions in the rain.

Our breath mingled.
My glasses fogged.
Your teeth stung.
Then I got in my car and he in his sick mother’s house and silence.

Should we have kissed Monday night?
Man, I have nothing – Nothing left to reveal to you. The softest parts of me are on display every single adult day. That bottle has been shaken, that lid off for years.  Maybe that’s it: with nothing left to share we fear that it would be only saliva and we’re not ready to exchange that with our adult mouths and over-thinking adult brains behind.

Let’s crumble from the core, babe. I’ve been to drama school: I can do a spinal roll. I can do an existential one, each vertebra clicking down. And it feels good down there; that change of perspective. Face to knee. Safe. I can stay down there for months. Years. I can walk through cities like that, hands dragging on the ground, hair a strained veil cutting me off from the adult world.

Should we have kissed Monday night?
I have no fucking idea.
And the spoken version is here on the youtube:…

This was a tough one but I do really like it. 

While you are there, you could even watch my friends and I singing a beautiful, drunk, spontaneous version of Amazing Grace in an empty building. Treat yourself:…
Add a Comment:
fotoasylum Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2014
I know this has been up for a bit but I am just getting to the reading of it, am headed
over to the reading to see that as well. 

Day.... Birth.... Happy..... Halohid!!!! ( :
Nebuladiver Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014
Why kiss under an umbrella when you can kiss in the rain? ;)

Do you feel your adult brain is like a cage? For many, it's the opposite.

(That was the best drunken singing I have ever heard!)
Halohid Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
I love being an adult and I feel myself getting better at my art every year. But, like many grown ups, romance and sex get more complicated the more you know of yourself and others. As a comedian I was working with recently said "You know that saying 'love like you've never been hurt'? Yeah. You can only really do that once before you actively start lying to yourself." 

But it is not all bad. Being an adult is very fun, most of the time. We get to sing drunk. That's a positive. Glad you liked it. 
Nebuladiver Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014
Has growing up been a collection of broken hearts?
If you get into a relationship expecting to be hurt, won't you also hold back and not let it grow to its full potential? Won't that condemn the relationship from the beginning?
I think romance is always complicated :P

As a comedian, do you rely on your own past experience for your ideas and stories?
Halohid Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014
I'm not a comedian. I am a playwright and I don't write much about relationships. But I use observations from my life in my writing all the time. Just little things I see and notice and think. They add a human colour to things that are otherwise really hard to comprehend and relate to. 
lea-M Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014
Halohid Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014
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Submitted on
October 3, 2014
Mature Content


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